Putting the Pieces Back Together

Ever since I can remember I've always been terrified of driving. It’s a fear with no backstory, I’ve never been in a serious crash (only a fender bender), i’ve never known anyone who’s gotten in a serious crash, and i've never had problems driving with my permit (Knock on wood), so you may wonder where it came from?! I have absolutely no clue, I just revert back to the theory that I had passed away in a serious car crash in my previous life.

A memory that will never fail to taint my mind is my drivers test, I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had started going to drivers ed when I turned 16 because I had felt it was time to suck it up and stop fearing the inevitable. Though there were a few anxious tears before I arrived, I had still made it. Months passed and I was driving with my permit (not very willingly, but driving nevertheless), and I had just started to become comfortable driving, something I had never thought possible. With this new found confidence in mind I had decided it was finally time to take my drivers test, afterall i had turned 17 in the meantime. 

The day of my drivers test we had to drive an hour away to the only open location for courtesy driving tests, only for me to pass through a stop sign I had not seen behind a bush, right off the bat. I was devastated, I was finally comfortable with myself and everything just came crumbling down at that moment. It had injured my confidence so terribly I didn't dare to drive for months afterwards.

Now i'm almost 18 and i've just started to find my confidence to drive again. I wish I could say I put my pieces back together, however, I'm still working on it. Time can only heal, and I hope that as time passes and I drive more that I will find that confidence back to the point I may be able to take my drivers test by spring.